i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
