Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
