Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Randomize
