p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
