VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
