May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
