shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
