I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
