i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
