I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
