i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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