She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You're like the curious george of whores
Even my vagina gasped.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You are the jesus of drinking
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
