Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
