Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
