and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize