Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
