She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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