I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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