ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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