its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I have aggressive nipples.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
