I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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