you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
