apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
