So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
