I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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