I hate all girls vehemently.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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