Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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