Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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