I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
