Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Randomize
