I just threw up on my dentist
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I miss vodka workout Fridays
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
