Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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