so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
