# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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