Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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