She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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