the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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