and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
They have beer where we have blood.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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