she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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