Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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