it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
