The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
