I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
