how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
