yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize