I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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