Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
she smelled like a LAN party
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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