Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
id be glad to
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
