Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
