yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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