New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
