I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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