if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
