Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
