I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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