He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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