What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
