I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize