Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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