honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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