I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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