Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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