Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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