the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
