Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
