Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
