ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
