walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
